Headlines!!!

Who has the time to read all the major sports headlines and then process all that information? Well besides me, I'd say no one, except for the unemployed and the friendless. Surprisingly, I'm only one of those. I'll let you guess which one. While you ponder it, here's the headlines:

- The Cowboys have cut CB Adam "Pacman" Jones. The team apparently found out that just after he was suspended by the league for a whole year Pacman ordered someone to shoot at someone that he had had an argument with. I guess he should have talked to Marvin Harrison first. That guys not only knows how to beat a rap, but he knows how to do while staying employed and relatively well liked.

- The Browns hire former Jets head coach, Eric Mangini. This makes a lot of sense, since the last time they hired a former Pats assistant head coach things went really well for the team.

- The Celtics lose their 6th game in their last 8 just in time for their big showdown with the Cavs on Friday. The only reason people in New England are panicking is because with the Pats not in the playoffs and the Red Sox still in their offseason, they have to be pissed at someone, thus the freaking out.

- Harvard shocks 24th ranked Boston College, their first win ever over a ranked team. I'd repeat the hilarious line from Ralph Wiggum about beating the smart kids when his diorama beats those of Lisa and Allison. But the students at BC are smart kids, so it doesn't really work here.